Honest comparisons

The tools are genuinely cheap. The question is whether you are the right person to be configuring them at 10pm on a Sunday.

Enterprise AI consultancies are good at what they do. They are simply not built for a business with nine staff and a van.

A receptionist costs between £900 and £2,600 a month once you count everything. The question is whether the phone is really a full-time job.

Live chat is excellent when someone is actually there. The problem is that in a small business, nobody reliably is.

Hey Jodie is a good product and, for a lot of businesses, the cheaper answer. The comparison only gets interesting once you count the things it does not do.

Smith.ai is one of the most polished receptionist services anywhere. The two things to check before a UK business signs up are the currency and the per-call maths.

Goodcall gives you unlimited minutes for the price of a phone contract. What it does not give you is anyone who will build it, watch it, or fix it.

On paper this is the closest match to what we do. The difference is who does the work.

Moneypenny answers your phone with a real person, and does it very well. Whether that is worth the per-minute bill depends entirely on what your calls are like.

alldayPA is one of the more affordable ways to get a UK human answering your phone. The per-minute charge on top is the part to do the maths on.

Ringmere is the closest thing on this list to a direct competitor: UK-built, priced in pounds, and genuinely good. Here is where it wins and where it does not.

AnswerConnect promises "always people, not bots". That is a real commitment, and for some businesses it is worth every penny of the per-minute bill.

Rosie is well-built and cheap. The two things a UK buyer should check first are the currency on the bill and which plan actually books appointments.

People look for a Moneypenny alternative for one of three reasons: the per-minute bill, wanting AI instead of a person, or wanting more than just the phone answered. Which one you are decides the answer.

alldayPA is an established, affordable way to get a UK human answering your phone. The reasons people look elsewhere are the per-minute meter and wanting more than a message taken.

A trade does not need a receptionist that sounds impressive. It needs one that answers while you are under a floor, books the job into your diary, and texts you the address.

A dental practice does not have a phone problem at 3pm. It has one at 8:45 on a Monday, when four lines ring at once and the team is checking in a waiting room.

In estate agency the enquiry is not the prize — being first to it is. A vendor ringing three agents on a Saturday morning books a valuation with whoever picks up.

Hey Jodie is one of the best-value AI receptionists in the UK. Most people looking for an alternative want one of three things it does not do.

A veterinary phone line is two jobs on one number. Most calls are routine — repeat prescriptions, booking a booster, checking opening hours. A few are frightened owners with an animal in trouble, and those cannot wait in a queue.

A salon phone rings loudest at the worst possible moment — mid-colour, hands full, a client in the chair. The call goes to voicemail, the caller books somewhere else, and nobody ever knows it happened.

A restaurant phone rings hardest during service, when the floor is full and nobody can get to it. The booking rings out, the table stays empty, and the covers are simply lost.

Most "best AI receptionist" lists are written by one of the companies on the list. So is this one — so here is the version that tells you when to pick someone else.